Episode 20: The thing about these feelings… – How you can start to perceive more again

by | Oct 9, 2020 | Emotions/Feelings, Health, Mindfulness, Needs | 0 comments

I have already told you that I found feelings stupid in the past and preferred to focus on my rational part. And because I have customers over and over who either find feelings as stupid as I used to or even feel nothing at all, I just decided to do an episode about feelings. 
When my clients describe a situation to me, I like to ask them if they perceive it somewhere in their body or what they feel .
What is important to me here: body sensations and feelings are not the same. 
Why is feeling emotions and perceiving the body so important? 
Our feelings and our body communicate a lot with us, show us what is good for us, how to take care of ourselves and they are important parts of us.
Ignoring feelings and body perceptions can make us sick in the long run. 
Reversely, feeling and perceiving helps us to be or become healthy. That is why it is important to look closely and feel carefully, even if this may not always be pleasant at first.
Most people find it easier to notice what they perceive in their bodies, so I am starting with this:
For example, under stress, you may experience discomfort in your stomach. That you raise your shoulders. That you clench your teeth and your jaw cramps. That you can no longer breathe properly.
These are all physical sensations. You can also perceive how your whole body relaxes when your stress is gone.
And now about feelings and emotions.
In this episode I don’t want to make any difference between the two words “feelings” and “emotions”.
So, the 7 basic emotions are:
  • Happiness
  • Surprise
  • Fear
  • Anger
  • Disgust
  • Sadness
  • Contempt
How can you now learn to feel and allow emotions and body sensations?
An important first step is: Noticing
Frequently take a moment and listen to yourself. See what you perceive in your body. Is there any pain? Tension? A sense of peacefulness? Tightness? Expansion?
Does your body feel good or bad?
And feel. Is what you’re feeling good or bad? What feeling might that be?
In everyday life we often suppress or push away feelings.
If it is difficult for you to feel a certain feeling, it could be that you learned as a child that this certain feeling is bad. Maybe you got into trouble for a certain behaviour. Or maybe you were taught something like “girls shouldn’t be angry”. Or “Boys don’t cry”. That may have contributed to your difficulty in accepting this particular feeling.
Either way, tears are one sign of emotion. But in our society, when we cry, we are often initiated to stop crying. There is a whole variaty, from “it’s okay now” to “don’t cry“. 
I learned a lot about this during in my years of coaching practice, including how important it is for many people to just being allowed to cry.
By the way: there are many shades in feelings. I’m providing you with a link to a great list of feelings in the shownotes. When you have started to feel your basic emotions more clearly again, you can also learn to recognize the shades of your feelings.
I hope you have many interesting experiences in feeling and perceiving!
Be happy and be light
Love Janina

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